Tuition extravagent - Part II

However, I submitted the form and started preparing for the test. Meanwhile, Sunita auntie (wife of that friend whom my dad approached) got in touch with my mom. Her daughter was also preparing for this final showdown. They just talked about our preparations and all. But my mom didn't like Sunita auntie's attitude. Mom used to say things like- "Sunita just shows off.. she is proud of her daughter.. she thinks her daughter is above all.." ... and etc. etc. which always showed love and affection of her for me.

Okay so now, the day had arrived where I was to put all the efforts which a group of economists put in for saving a country from recession: The day of the examination. I entered the examination hall and saw many co-examinees in a haste and in between that, I saw Inderjeet Sinha. A tall man in 40s with a moustache and spectacles through which he was gazing at the crowd while he was sipping a cup of tea. I didn't like that place at all. If I cleared that test then I must have to sit with other thirty to forty students, which feels nothing but like just another school classroom. How could I concentrate then?

But then keeping all these thoughts apart, I searched for my roll code and sat at the designated place. After sometime, I was given my question & answer sheets. I went through my question sheet and I saw that there was barely any question which I didn't knew. I wanted to scribble all the answers on the so called 'answer sheet' but then, all of a sudden, my mind struck with an idea. I thought not to respond correctly to the given questions. In short, I made a plan to destroy my result. My mind said:

"Hey buddy!.. It's in your hands now.. it's your wish whether you want to be here or not.. If not, then just scribble the answers the other way..." 

However I decided not to mess up everything but I just attempted three questions and came out of the examination hall. Soon after a week the results were out and obviously, I failed. My mom and dad got totally disappointed and I, to hide my mischief, fearfully said that I attempted each and every question but I had no idea about my result. My dad then called up Inderjeet Sinha to personally verify my result. He said that I had got only 7 marks out of 100. I was with dad during this whole conversation with Inderjeet. My dad then asked if he could conduct another test specially for me, but he refused. He said that it was impossible for him as there were other thirty five students on the waiting list. Now what is this man? Sick.. Hell sick!!.. Is it a tuition class or some IIT/IIM?

Seriously speaking, all those things (form filling, entrance exam, roll codes, hundred-fifty students, waiting lists, etc.) seemed sense less for tenth grade tuition classes, that too only in mathematics, physics & chemistry. I was totally proud of my decision and its execution. I was happy. And then came a phone call from Sunita auntie. Her daughter got selected in Inderjeet's tuition classes. She was so happy that she even distributed sweets in the neighbourhood. My mom again got pissed off and said: "Now that her daughter got selected, she will fly like a bird.. I hate her..."

But then my parents understood my feelings and learnt that what would be it like at Inderjeet's. They searched for another tutor who had a good reputation but this time, no such hypes like that in the previous case. Even I liked that new place. No thirty-forty students, no forms, no lists. Just a calm place where I could concentrate. Even that tutor didn't like such a type of haste and school like atmosphere. He thought just six students at once. I learnt many things there and gained good scores in every school tests.

After a year and a half, board results were out. I scored respectable grades. And this time too, Sunita auntie had called up my mom but my mom was happy. I asked her why and then I got to know that my average was much higher than her daughter's. I was like, what is this? I mean she attended Inderjeet's but still?

So you see, results don't matter on what or whichever good coaching you take. It is your hard work which matters. All the teachers are professionals. Nobody can't blame them for failure. It is never their failure. It is ours. A teacher puts in all the efforts but ultimately we only have to give the test.

The funniest thing which I later got to know is that neither Inderjeet's son studied at his father's tuition classes. He used to take coaching somewhere else.  

Tuition extravagent - Part I

This is something which is very usual in every home especially when kiddos enter their board classes. There are many people who send their kids to tuitions before they could even collide with the algebra or battery-level science. And there are many who place their children, as soon as they hit their tenth grade, at some of the best tutors in the town. And some even don't. In my case my parents never actually pushed me to go for tuitions. But as I entered my tenth grade, I heard a lot of horror stories from my parents about people who got failed in tenth.

"You see, he failed in his tenth and now he is a sweeper. What a bad luck! So my child, tuitions play a very crucial role in your academic excellence.. And this is the time. Go for it, it is good and be the topper of the upcoming board exams."

Though I never took such things seriously but sometimes it used to pinch me a lot, the mere tension of failing in boards. Not only me but everyone must have felt that kind of 'pinch' when giving our first board exams. All those thick books became thicker, thoughts dumped in trash boxes, silence became absolute; I was overwhelmed with such tensions. At such a point of time you follow what your parents suggest.

Eventually, I told my parents that I want to join that one of the town's best tuition classes which they told me once amidst of the horror stories- It seems so nice when you have a heroic scene in a horror movie. My parents were so happy that they started motivating me after that. They said that the tutor would polish my academic skills (usually in mathematics, physics & chemistry) and bring me to the top level. They said he was the hero who could turn a utter failure into a brilliant success. And yes indeed, I needed a hero.

Inderjeet Sinha- the man behind every successful student, the savior of mankind of tenth grade in the town- the hero. Seniors used to talk and appreciate about him a lot and console their juniors to not to worry about the board exams (behaving as if they proved theories of Einstein wrong). Some seniors even joked that all the girls would go crazy about him and ask for dates and autographs. But thank god, nothing such happend in reality. He had, and has a lot of respect and dignity. So I heard a lot of success stories of many of my friends who credited Inderjeet for their excellence in boards.

One day, my dad approached to one of his friends who knew Inderjeet from a long time. And to my dad's surprise, he got two forms to be filled up for admission. Wait there! That is not enough. I must give an entrance exam too. Now that was something really crazy. It is understood that Inderjeet teaches about hundred-and-fifty students a year but maintaining it like some institution seemed crazy. When I got to know that I even have to affix my photographs in the form, it seemed like a hype. A total hype. And it was.

... To be continued.

The music which is more than just music.

It is slow. It is distorted. It is just another play of frequencies. It is boring. But not for me!

Let me be clear on this. This is not 'just-an-other' sound for me. I don't know why and how it feels so special to me. It makes me feel: "Okay buddy.. It's okay... Just move on." Just a few days ago I created it accidently- now what can one expect a guy with a guitar sitting at home whole day long doing nothing. And as soon as I felt the magic of it, I instantly recorded it. I just can't explain in words how it means to me. Such a magic of motivation made me to name it: Moving on.

Okay now, to speak honestly and on your part, many of you won't like it. But you are most welcomed to post comments and share your views. By the way, just a play it takes. :) Listen it once. 

Everything ego

Some people, in fact everyone state ego as "sense of self importance or esteem" but I have a different perception regarding it. I define ego as "something you value it a lot and you think that it is under your possession, something you own or someone your own." And I believe this is the sheer root thing which accounts for all the creations and devastations around the globe. Once it is pleased, you dream to touch the skies and once it is hurt, you turn wild (maybe not physically but yes, you do turn). The very same thing I experienced recently and came on a conclusion after introspecting myself. I don't know whether my conclusion shall be valid for your thoughts or not. So here I am presenting my experience with a conclusion in this hopefully the last post of the year.

That was my second visit to the transport office after some ups and downs for my learner's license. There were even some external ties with an officer but unfortunately he was on leave. However, I made it in a normal procedural manner until the final stage, the learner's test. I went through some pesky employees before that who actually raised up my anger level. Even I don't hesitate to accept that I got impatient that day. Moreover, impatience triggers your ego in a negative way. And then happend the most provoking event: I failed in the learner's test. You see it was just a small series of bad luck and I got provoked. 'I feel like a monster!...': Skillet's super-hit song, Monster was going on in my head. I came back to my friends, threw down my documents (though not onto a big radius but just in front of them) and I took one of the road-sign charts which we took it from a counter before the test and tore it. Seconds later, I walked away from that office. My friends tried to stop me but I went away.

I tried to convince myself a lot using a number of philosophies and moral teachings but my mind rejected everything saying: 'Hey!.. Flush away those shits. You are angry means you are angry.'. It is very difficult to implement such things on yourself in practice. Now did you notice? It was my sheer ego. Not that my self-importance was hurt or something but, that was the ego that I know how to drive properly. The ego that my father has external ties with an officer there. I reached home by walk from a distance and saw my friends as the door opened. "Hey guys!.. What has got you here?" I said, giving them an expression of 'Is he bloody psycho or something?'. I played some tracks like Karma is a Bitch and Diamonds and Guns loud enough to be heard in the vicinity. Meanwhile, my mom stepped in my room and scolded for my behaviour and told me to never do it again and not to be like that. After that my buddies patted my shoulder and gave me a hug, saying: "Don't worry baby... Next time you will definitely do it. We know.. don't be so disappointed.". Then they all planned to watch a movie to cool me down.

That night I thought to introspect myself and it actually created two sides of mine. One, the good and the other, the bad.

Good: Ady, what you did was so egoistic and childish!.. Don't you feel guilty?

Bad: Listen to me... What you went through was too good, isn't it?

Good: What you went through?.. Are you a innocent lamb or something who was taken by a butcher to cut down? Is that so hurting to you? Are you a small kiddo?


Bad: But that actually hurt you... And what you did was totally correct.


Good: Shut up! Such things happens to everyone... Just bad luck.. Time game, you see... And there are millions of people without any influence who visit such transport offices everyday. Unlike you, they are maintaining their patience. 


Bad: But you own your driving skills, then who the hell are they for not permitting your license?


Good: Oh just calm down!.. You were almost there but failed in the test. And the questions in the test are not set there and then. It's just your bad luck. Time game buddy...


Bad: Arrghh!.. And what about those pesky employees who talked rudely to you and to your friends? So what you did just compensated that and was totally right. 


Good: Let those people be as much rude as they want. It's their image, not yours. And when it comes to your ego, see what you have, never see what you don't have. Just see a beggar on a footpath and compare his life with yours...


Bad: Wait wait wait... By the way none of the public there noticed your anger. Only your friends saw it. And you have not done anything so notorious that you are getting so serious about it and you are introspecting yourself...


Good: Oh yes!.. Only your friends saw it. And you have not done some big crime thing to be so serious of!... Then why to introspect?..


Bad: Yeah... I won.. I won... 


Good: No! You are introspecting yourself for internal peace.  


"Ohhkkayyy... okay.. whatever...  Just shut up now." I said to myself.

Now through this I made a point. A point which I think is applicable in almost every creation and devastation around us. Ego. For instance, you assume that you are a project manager of some company and are given a new project to manage. You work on it very hard and the results are appreciated by your higher authorities. The moment they say things like 'I'm proud of you. Good work. Keep it up!', your ego gets praised and boosts up your confidence that you can do something more than this, bigger than this. And if another bigger opportunity comes your way and you do it, you build up some more confidence. This is creation. And if someday you are given with a small, yet difficult project to manage, you will say to yourself: 'Ohh.. It's just a child's play for me.'. But then if you fail in that, you are out of your control. Your bosses shall scold you for your failure and shall use you as an example of failed management skills for some of your co-workers and juniors. This personally makes you feel defeated and your confidence level shall fall down like a stone from a mountain. This is devastation. This is all one thing, the good and the bad, ego. I feel even a desire is nothing but ego. So as everyone expects a story to have an 'happy-ending' and victory of the good, I adopted the good of mine and came to a conclusion: Everything ego.

When I was thinking all this, my father came to ease me.

Dad: So here's the big man!.. You must not have done it. You actually wasted your friends' time.

Me: Yeah.. I know.. I'm sorry. And they are my buddies. We all need just one excuse to have fun. I know they will not regret this. No worries.  

Dad: Whatsoever!.. But it was just your bad luck, nothing else. Not to be so serious of like you are now.

Me:  Hmm.. I was just thinking the same. 

Dad: It just happens.. And don't take any tensions for such things. 

Me: It's not tension. It's provocation. 

Dad: Tension triggers provocation. Learn to be patient. There's no point in provoking in such a way. That will destroy you. You will have no friends. Be cool whatever it is. 

Me: Hmmm..

Dad: Okay now.. Leave it. I have talked to my secretary. He will arrange something. 

Me: What?

Dad: As in your license.

Me: Oh no!.. Leave it...  I don't want.

Dad: You don't want your license? 

Me: No.. I'll do it myself. I can do it myself.   
     

My first college bunk - Part III

Luckily this time we got the bus quite quickly as compared to that in the morning. And at around 2:30 pm, we reached Varun's place. We all sat in the drawing room and Varun brought some eatables.

"Give it to me.. I'm hungry.." I said as I snatched one packet of chips from Varun.

"Pass it to me after you have it.." said Rajat, conforming that he was also hungry.

"At what time you guys must reach your home?" asked Varun.

"Anytime.. Hahaha.." said Shubham.

"Ae kutte... Tell me correctly. We'll accordingly decide what to do." said Varun

"I'm having enough time. I reach at around 7 pm." said Prashant.

All of us were having enough time except me. I reach my home at 4 pm. I thought to tell my mother or sister, if they would call me, that soon after I reached my place my friends called me and asked to reach Varun's home.

"Okay... Then we'll watch a movie." said Varun, as expected.

Soon the movie critic Shubham and Varun went in to decide which movie to watch. Rajat was in the drawing room listening to some full bass rap songs (as he always does and dreams to be a master of it) in the loudspeaker stereo system which usually creates a mini earthquake. Me and Prashant were in the kitchen making maggi and tea. I always admire Prashant as 'CCM' or, the Chief Chai Maker. Meanwhile, my phone buzzed again: 'Mom calling...'. I attended and said the same as I thought before.

We all were ready and accepted each others' decision (this time avoiding any chaos) to watch Rock On. I had my part of maggi and tea and just slid on the bed pushing Shubham off it. I was too tired and was not able to understand what was going on with the movie. My eyes were just open to see, not to interpret. I saw Farhan Akhtar as some manager of some firm at one time and also as a funky guitarist at another time. All that seemed like a fairy tale and I soon fell asleep.

I woke up after a long nap. I don't remember if the movie was over or not but everyone decided to leave by then.

"Uth gaya ladka... " said Rajat.

"Oh yeah.. it was a nice nap.." I said and stretched myself.

We packed our bags, wore our shoes and then left from there and went our way back to our homes.

While walking towards my home, I thought to write the whole thing and publish it on my blog. On the same night I started writing this but then I stopped. I thought it has no moral, and moreover it might not have an interesting factor either. So I left it.

After a long time, I asked one of my college friends whether to write this or not. And that person said: "Experiences are better than thoughts.". I then composed myself and said: Okay.. let it be the way it is. I'll write it.

But still, somewhere I feel that it is all rubbish. My sincere apologies to you if I have wasted your time in this boring saga.

Thank you.